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Saturday, 17 January 2004
Hello Everyone, It's me....Pussycat.
Hello Everyone, it's me...Pussycat. I've been sitting here at work for hours and I'm getting stir crazy. Sometimes when I am by myself for long periods of time I start to feel quietly sad. I don't know where that comes from. I frequently enjoy having time by myself. I like to read books, watch movies or tv, eat a small meal, make crafts- I like to do all of these things alone. It gives me time to think and relax. There are times, though, when I start to wonder about the nature of existance and I can't help but feel a sadness. It's not like I think about it directly- it's more like a hand rubbing the back of my head really softly. I barely notice it. When the sadness comes I notice that and it causes me to notice the subconscious podering. I guess it's a sense of meaninglessness that is the cause of my feelings. I feel it more and more as I get older and witness the passage of time. In time all things are forgotten. Everything that is important to me now will someday be gas and dust. Of course all things decompose and change into new things that are reborn, but the old things are utterly unrecognizable. What is the point of living when everything I care about will, in the most literal sense, cease to be?
I don't want to come across as depressed, I'm not. Time just pushes things so far away sometimes. It's a brute force impossible to fight, and for that I can't forgive its wrongs.
Posted by pussycat101
at 8:00 PM PST
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